Films That Witness Madness

review

C.H.U.D.

Few horror movies from the 1980s are as fun as C.H.U.D., Douglas Cheek's immortal New York monster movie. It doesn't stray too far from the conventions of the sci-fi b-movie - bloodthirsty monsters created by careless government handling of nuclear waste. Sound familiar? - but it's execution is all horror. A volcanic eruption of blood from a clogged shower drain and several dozen mangled corpses are not things you'd normally see in some cheesy sci-fi flick. Toss in some monsters that look more like demons than simple human mutations and you have a simple, but potent, mix of viscera and chuckles. But C.H.U.D. also surprises with it's heaping portions of good characterization and measured performances. A monster flick that disgusts, provokes, and, on top of all that, is well acted and well written? What's not to love?

For those who don't know, C.H.U.D. stands for Cannibalistic Underground Humanoid Dweller, a name given to the unfortunate poor who live underground that have come into contact with potent toxic sludge. The exposure has mutated them into something incredibly nasty, slimy, bloodthirsty monstrosities with huge claws, glowing eyes, and ravenous appetites. They've been quietly decimating the poor people who live underneath and in the subway tunnels of New York City for the past two weeks. But recently, they've been snatching people off the streets. One of those unlucky people is the wife of Police Captain Bosch. Bosch and his men have been inundated with missing persons reports for several weeks. He's understandably concerned but his hands are tied by his superiors. Bosch wants to go to the press and warn people. They say absolutely not.

Also troubled by the recent disappearances is The Reverend, the proprietor of a soup kitchen. Several of his regulars haven't been around in weeks. The poor are arming themselves. A bag lady tries to steal a cop's gun and gets busted for her troubles. George Cooper, a former fashion photographer who recently did a photographic essay on the plight and existence of the underground poor, pays her bail - skipping out on the photo session he was conducting with his model girlfriend, Lauren Daniels, to do so. The bag lady takes George underground so he can help her brother, Victor. Turns out Victor wanted the gun to protect himself from something big and nasty. Something that took a huge bite out of his leg. The Reverend, meanwhile, has unofficially joined forces with Captain Bosch in an attempt to force the higher-ups to come clean about everything that has been going on. It might have something to do with the Geiger counter and radiation suits The Reverend found underground...

That's just for starters. C.H.U.D. is a model of screenplay efficiency. It really does speed along rather well but never at the expense of it's characters. Each one is given time to create an impression and each character breathes and lives in a way that very few horror characters do. Each has a distinct personality - although Cooper seems to be undergoing the traditional "Fashion Photographer Syndrome" that all photographers of his sort go through in the movies - and is given ample opportunity to rise to the occasion of heroism. The films plot developments are all common to these kinds of films - the Malevolent Government, more interested in saving it's own skin than risking exposure of it's mistake, takes great pains to silence those who may spill the beans and is willing to risk the lives of thousands of innocents to fix the problem it started - but nothing about C.H.U.D. feels perfunctory or manufactured. If it stumbles along the way - the action scenes are poorly handled, some of the editing is sloppy - that's OK because the cumulative effect of the film more than overshadows whatever problems the film may have. By the time the truck carrying our bad guy goes boom, all is forgiven.

For a monster movie made in 1984, this sucker holds up astonishingly well today. Most of the credit has to go to the performers. Christopher Curry, John Heard, Kim Griest, and Daniel Stern all play their roles well and with conviction - Stern is especially good. While none of them are particularly complex characters, they're not the walking caricatures we normally expect in this kind of production. Each of them are selfless, sacrificing, and heroic - even Griest's Lauren is allowed to have some sort of personality, even if she does have to endure the expected showering sequence just to up the bare flesh ante - and it's their personalities and interplay that raise C.H.U.D. above the level of tedium. Douglas Cheek, who never directed another horror film after C.H.U.D. and never directed one before it either, isn't the kind of gee whiz director who takes chances. He shoots with efficiency and with some degree of skill but, more importantly, he gives us what we need without anything we don't, crafting a lean, suspenseful little film in the process.

C.H.U.D. ultimately became a true cult classic, a film that has a passionately devoted fan base. While it's not as good a film as DEATH LINE, another film featuring something bloodthirsty haunting the tunnels below a large city, it's still one the very best horror films of the 1980s. It's most certainly one of the most entertaining.

Essential viewing.

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